But, I want to share some discoveries I found that may bring a glimmer of hope and moment of peace in your journey with grief and suffering. Its the alone time that wrecks me. Dont be afraid of it, embrace it. My sincerest condolences to you with the loss of your husband. Plant a tree a Leland cypress and watch your love grow and remember him in nature. Thats hard at 69 . Finding him was torture. That is a revealing statement and I think your church, which is a family, will prove to be a lifesaver. com. i could be just reading a magazine and something pops up she used to like. And No, I'll Never 'Get Over' It | Glamour. These things help ME and every one is different but I would go completely mad if I didnt keep busy. I guess its normal. Im at the stage now where Ive accepted this, and Im finding all sorts of ways to help myself exercise, meditation, good food, hobbies, time with friends, whatever helps. I struggle with everyday. Even though sometimes we accept that this is life but life seems unfair at times. He was 54. Minimizing change gives the cat time to come to terms with the loss of a companion cat. I hope you are well, and have found solid ground on which to stand. When your spouse dies, your world changes. I lost my beloved wife April 4th of 2018. just feels worse this second year coming up to xmas. (February 21, 1940 July 17, 2020) John R. Lewis, who died of pancreatic cancer, was the last surviving speaker of the 1963 March on Washington. I know the feeling Angie I myself am constantly weeping and unbearably sad. Both of my parents died on Valentines Day only difference is my Mother passed 28 years earlier this is tough for me, maybe divine intervention. I miss him more than last year..the memories, both happy and sad, ate more vivid than ever. I dont do holidays with my kids or anyone: I cant. How disappointed are we when a long planned vacation-of-a-lifetime turns out to be not all what we would have hoped? Amor Eterno He is always with me! People tell me i have to move on. For example, the function returns "4 months" between the dates 9/30/15 and 2/28/16 (even though the 28th is the last day of the month). Everyone deals with it in their own way. I have many photos of us of times gone by, and it,s good to see him in happier times, but now I long so much to hear his voice, It hurts to want to hear him again. Those, who simply tell you to move on have either not lost someone of such great meaning or perhaps, are incapable of such a relationship or are repressing their own losses. Wedding anniversary his birthday. well lo and behold, who knew the second year would be a living nightmare. I never knew I could cry so much and as someone says above, I dont want my anti depressants, its a different mind frame. Year 3 I thought it has to get easier, and in many ways it has. I have an idea. I am trying to give something beautiful from him. I have great sadness and empathy when I read your note. It is very hard to look at all these people in the face and lie with a smile on your face, telling them that youre okay.. My third recommendation is a book titled Overcomer by Dr. David Jeremiah. I was just finishing my first semester of college and he was the father figure I never had. I lost my son in June 2017. Since then, I have no clue or direction with what to do with my life. Its been A year and I cry every day and cant enjoy anything. We are all torn apart. I go to the grave site daily. Its been a terrific read! He was so close to me just like a little brother. Ill say my farewell now to you all . Why am I so weak when I should be strong knowing that we always have to lose someone. He died in my arms. Im in a stage where Im desperatly trying to remember everything about the time we had together. Most of the time I cover my feelings up so people dont know how I really feel. cindy your right when i lost my 7 year old son his brother who was 2 years older (my oldest son) totally changed as my sons death was unexpected its been 19 years since he died and his brother never got over it and was diagnosed with personality disorder 4 year ago they said it was brought on by the traumatic loss of his brother,for me the 19th year is just the same as the first year and 2nd and 3rd etc,i was told it would get easier but everyones different i guess because my heart is still breaking and tears still flowing. Its horrific. Many of the people I work with are several years past their loss and are struggling with confidence and decision making. So I know that feeling. I dont want it to be something that just passes. Doo sorry for your loss x I lost my husband of 47 years 6 months ago and Im.sooo lost ..I cry all the time I dont eat or sleep he was my soul mate how does life go on, I lost my husband of 44 years dec 29, 2020 I am at a loss for life, he was 76 and I am 65 ,,, I pretty much took care of him for the last few years poor guy so so sad he was hating his disabilities so much pain he didnt really want anyone around and when we were alone he would get in a stressed out mood and yell how he hated life and wanted god to take him then cry and do it all over again and again for a very long time, I loved him more than life itself,,,, I have losses in my life my sibling,mother and father,,, I am exhausted now my husband I am so lost with my life and so sad. I am so sorry we are are all hurting people,i have found society is not real good at knowing how to help or react to us. He was my best friend as well as my Father. We had an age gap of 14 years and he was like a father to me. It can be from 150 to 180 percent of the parent's full . My then 7 year old daughter found him first. Now I was worried am I on the rebound am I needing to be with anyone . The numbness is gone and reality is now setting in. I lost my mother, almost two years ago. My husband passed away 9 months ago with out any assets but had - Avvo I lost my younger sister to sepsis January this year. I want him back but I cant have him so Im living in hope that we will be reunited one day. Ive come to realize that it never will. But, I had to stop after his death & I was sick. I broke down n a Lowes store, felt ridiculous, & left. Thanks for sharing your story and God bless and comfort you too. Thirty days later I lost my only sibling. Every moment where I was happy and excited was mixed with sadness and anger that my wife was not experiencing this. Hi Holly, Its been five and a half months for me since my husband died. it helped and still does. There is a limit to the amount of money that we can pay to a family. I sit here now 23 months later with tears flowing endlessly. Today she would've turned 3. I have been travelling a lot, which helps, have lovely, helpful children and friends, so many blessings, but this is like being punished and in many ways I feel I deserve it, I would like a cat or dog, something living around the house, but I go away so much. Im just so heavy hearted hearing everyones stories. Any suggestions will be appreciated. Grief is a roller coaster ride that when you get off your left feeling dizzy and everything is. We had problems for a while because of her addiction that she had struggle with for a few years from Pain medication and anxiety and other mental health medication. Four months after her death my 32 year old nephew died of a drug over dose. Thats beautiful. I have my days where just like you, I think if he takes me home tomorrow, its ok. Then I look around and realize I do still have my son and daughter and my lovely cats. ========================. Worst thing Ive ever gone through. Synonyms for PASSED AWAY: fallen, gone, deceased, declining, departed, defunct, lifeless, deteriorating; Antonyms of PASSED AWAY: live, alive, living, existing . I am just pretending Im ok, so my family does not worry about me, as I know I got to be strong for them. I lost my soulmate 23 months ago and am surprised at the intensity of my sorrow. It is really hard to get through this if you do not take care of your bodies needs- water, food and rest as well as some exercise. I appreciate being able to write my feelings down and my heart goes out to you all. Maybe its some physical thing. The next year was so hard. I just dont want to do anything. You are forever alive in my heart. I lose my husband two weeks ago. I try to stay busy but most of the time its just around our house. TikTok video from Stacey (@lifeofathoroughbred): "can't believe it's been nearly a year since you passed away grumps #thoroughbred #angryhorse #alfiehorse #tempermental #dead #horsesoftiktok #passedaway". It still hurts and i wish it didnt. Thank you my heart goes out to you very much Don. No he said and as he sat on the chair with his head on my chest and me rubbing his back he looked up at me and said well maybe it is my heart and took his last breath. I wish someone would share some hope.. something to inspire me to keep going. My grief totally took over my life. Hello everyone its sad what we all have been through but Im glad for a group like this to share our pain since we all have lost someone we love. I so feel everyones painandI am so sorry, Dear Holly Just read your email and do know how you feel I as with my Husband for 59years Married for 56 of them he passed away just over a year ago, We said we would be around till we were 90 as we were never ill really enjoyed good health, Then he wasnt well one night and went to Hospital and a junior Doctor used a wrong catheter and after that he was never the same and a year later he died. I go out with my friends and volunteer but as soon as I get home I go right down. My days run together, its the absolute worst heartache Ive ever experienced. This helped me a lot. But I think this is probably normal, and its certainly normal for me. I lost my wife on December 2017 to cancer. No matter what and how I try nothing really matters. "Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, may looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.". They say it will get easier, man I hope it does. I thank the Lord for giving me life but living is one of the most difficult things Ive ever had to do. Sofocus on you, dont try to cling to himhe is still there and will rest easier seeing that youve got this. Its been 2 years 4 months and 18 days since I lost my husband unexpectedly He was only 59 and super fit. Living with cancer was all we had ever known. I just want to hold my son, tell him I love him, see his beautiful smile not just one more day but forever. I miss my wife I came home from work 2018 found my wife on the bedroom floor. I also think it is the type of loss. Try not to do that to your other child. Endless hospitals endless sick days endless weakness. Specially because many times he said to me if I didnt get back with him he didnt want to be here anymore. I dont want to. In the poignant track's lyrics, G-Eazy describes longing to reunite with someone in his dreams . I am more aware of the many blessings I have & have learned to cherish every moment of my life. Freind I have no interest in life. Grief, Lost Emotions, and Feeling Numb After a Death | Thriveworks ,sad, I cry for my wife married 33years happy together did every thing together ,, small cel lung cancer. I find it heartbreaking to see their grief and I feel embarrassed about having a boyfriend who has brought some sun into my life. He said any kind of self harm is your bodies way of protecting itself from the great, immeasurable pain. All I can say is my best to you and sadly we are not alone in our thoughts. I wont say Im sorry for your loss, though I am, I would like to say I am happy for your gain, in having a love that deep in the first place and still holding it close. How Cats Grieve and Cope With Loss | Hill's Pet Either we can learn from these . Though I never lied to them about all of this, theyve never seen me down. Four months he fought from diagnosis to him passing. Lost my husband 2 yrs 4 months its hard I have good days but I need someone to talk to thats not family. It all seems pointless. Jean Marie Feils, 82, of Plainview, passed away February 24, 2023 at St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester, MN. Being s mum of our two little girls takes up everything I have to give, the major part to this aching missing, remembering. Just to let them know that they arent up here alone. I havent lived since the diagnosis last June. Stay strong during this difficult time, and know we are always here for you. It left me very melancholy. So much its crazy. And I think of him everyday . I feel your pain my husband died 6 months ago i want to give up but some how you learn to live again i pray alot i miss him he will always be in my heart i try to keep my mind on diffrent things i watch funny move ies go to the park the only thing is trying to sleep at night i cant give up he would have want me to live i know in my heart i will see him again am only 50 i still have a chance to be happy again i pray for you that god will take some of the hurt away and help you and gave you the peace you need to get through this this two shall pass, I definitely understand more then words can express. FREE 15 minute consults available to www.griefincommon.com members. That I was doing the things one does to deal with grief. It doesnt feel any better or easier. And took over my wifes life I came home valentines night from work found my wife leaning against the wall on the floor. Please dont do that. -R, I feel so sad reading your story. Im now looking forward to my next few months. My story is like yours, the most sudden pulmonary embolism of the love of my life. multiple pages visited It was a rough year. I do have friends and church family that will not allow me to stay inside for very long. Ann, Im so sorry for every ones lost,,Im to. This was without doubt the hardest thing Ive ever done. Hospitals wouldnt admit. Just trying to move forward in life but the pain came back again and it hurts so much. I was numb the first year, but Know Its really hard. None of this will bring her back. . Our son, Kevin, died on January 28, 2017. Status Of Biden's Promises After 100 Days In Office : NPR My Husband passed away unexpectedly on Dec 1, 2013. Hi, its going to be 2 years in March 2020. Grieving the loss of a parent is personal. My name is Dustin. Now and then there are good moments that let me see how lucky I was to have him in my life. The loss of a special animal companion can leave devastating heartache and most people will suffer in silence out of fear of not being taken seriously just because the loss was not a human loss. People dont understand the loss. It helps by turning a negative into a positive but it also stirs up emotions afterwards. How do I move on. My son rolled a diesel tanker and it ejected him out and rolled on him and crushed him. I am 76 and my health seems OK but mentally I am a wreck. We were married for 13 years. I lost my only child Rob on Thanksgiving 2016 to a heroin overdose. I took care of her. I just feel like she was cheated out of so much by dying young and just six months after my daughter was born. I dont really like the person I am at the moment, but am hopeful I will feel more complete, When my husband was ill and I spent a lot of time stressed and worried, I told a friend that previously my life had been like a bracelet of pearls, but now the pearls were interspersed with pebbles, no more complete happiness. Peace be with you all. Im so glad I found this post. I just loved my husband so much as we were together 49 years and never spent any time apart. I am shattered, dont want to live without him, and every morning I still wake up after a night of praying and pleading to The Creator, to please let me go Home to join my beloved soulmate. I feel hopeless and just want this horrible life to be over. Like his life was just a blink of an eye.19 year. I might not cry several times a day like before, there is just a constant state of sadness & loss, wanting & longing to share what we had together as loving soul mates. Always feeling so empty, so alone. Thank you Rachel. I wish all of the posters, that god gives you the strength to be happy, smile, to know that your not really alone. That is strangely comforting to remember that. Take baths , walks and learn to breath. I share everyones pain expressed here. Anyway, I had strep throat one winter. I have read most of the posts..we are all in pain..it has been 1 year 1 month and 6 days since I lost my best friend my anchor..I live interstate away from my two children..I work full time and have lots lf work colleagues..my lifelong friend lives interstate..I have two dogs and no close friends outside of work.suddenly my pain and lonliness seems to be more devastating that in the first 12 months..people think I am tough and have done really well and appear happy again.how wrong they all are..underneath this fascade is a really sad person whose heart has broken wide open.right now I seriously feel being dead would be easier..I am empty inside with no future to look forward to.even my sense of humour which I am renowned for has died with my hubbyI do motivate muself to go oit and am surrounded by couples only enforcing on how lonely I ama person who used to be extra energetic, happy, always laughing..this person is now dead inside with no wish to carry on with my life.not sure how long I can go on for..if it werent for my dogs I would have left this life months agodont care any more..sorry..but there is no way I can tell anyone how I feel..not even my Grief Counsellor..I know I am not the only one of us who feels like this so whoever you are you will know exactly how I am feelingand no..I will not use antidepressants..I am not depressed there ks no medication for heartbreak. I think I am depressed but dont want drugs. There is nobody you can really share the loss with, because the only other person with an equal stake in your life has gone along with all your plans and dreams. Im currently in the process of dealing with all the emotions that come from grief. Disputes, mistakes, and shortcomings occur on both sides and are all in the past. It's Been Six Months Since My Mom Passed Away Life is filled with pain and I cant find the balance without my husband. Children are grown doing well, there are 12 grandchildren, 4 great grand children, and me . In an odd way, I dont want to be done because I feel like if I stop thinking about her then that means I have stopped loving her (which I know isnt true, but thats how it feels). My life has forever been changed I have good days and mostly sad Well when we were together for about a year I decided to leave him because we argue a lot, jealousy and thoughts of cheating. Some days I just find it impossible to even tackle housework having that cant be bothered feeling and only going out to do the weekly shop. I am lost and have no confidence anymore. unexpected way. What if lose him too? My fathers started dating someone who slanders her and her opinion of me, and even though I know shes wrong and never met her it hurts so badly. I often wonder why this all happened and why so close together, I needed my husband Pat to help me grieve for Cody. Im more insular now and dad wouldnt want that I know but Ive slways been a bit one bitten twice shy. I lost my husband 2 years ago. I empathize with you. I wish I had that one more everyday. I read a lot about near death experiences and it has helped a little bit. A Letter to My Father One Year After His Death - The Mighty He fell and hit his head, passing away very suddenly. Its so unnatural and wrong. I live with grief and depression everyday. He did always know who I was and also his daughters even at the end. I hope everyone gets to love and be loved that much. I always go to sleep hoping God we let me see her in a vision or dream. He was told he had six month and he lived shy two days of six months. You just described ME. Him and I were very close. the answer is your husband was not in the ambulance, its empty. Now year two is truly confusing. My mother passed away October 2018. My youngest son had to see how she looked and one of my stepsons had to help move her to the floor as 911 talked me through CPR. First, there is great resource here and elsewhere on the internet and in communities. 82 Touching Death Anniversary Quotes and Messages Its true, I feel relief reading similar experiences. Its definitely tough every year and Im on year 4. from everybody else. According to Google that's 9490.01 hours, but to me it feels like an eternity. Stage one: denial. -I am also 16 months on from losing the love of my life,knew her when we were 12 years old,but never got together until we were 31 years old ,god i miss her terribly she was my rock,I can actually say that time does heal a little bit,but as someone says to hold to kiss to hug one last time,we know also that wouldnt be enough dont we,i long to see her again hopefully i will,I think time does heal but i do not want to forget my wife , who knows what the future holds,but will never be the same,sory for my ramblings just found this site and every comment hits home god bless people xx, My husband of 45 years died 13 months ago. I have one regret that has sickened me this whole year, I wish with everything inside of me that I would have not let them give him the methadone and morphine but the choice was comfortable or in pain I chose comfortable not realizing that meant when they got the pain under control I nor my kids and grand-kids would never hear his voice again. David Bowie dies of cancer aged 69 - BBC News - BBC - Homepage Year two can be very difficult, in some very unexpected ways. How does one explain, the years of laughter, loving, holding hands, winks toward each other, many, many memories of simple days My only advice from a husband perspective is dont be afraid to find someone to love again. Killing yourself is not going to bring your husband back nor is it going to help the ones you leave behind, we all have to travel this route that is a fact. Though it's been years now since you were taken away, the memories are still strong, and I wish you were here today. She was my momma & my best friend. Just a few months away we both believe in God and his Universe. I keep trying to get back into a life but I cry often. We were blessed with 4 children, who still desperately need me at ages 11, 9, 8, and 7. I also never realized during the entire course of me caring for her, how fearful I was of getting sick. But there was a need to accept at a deeper level, and it was very very hard. this is life what we deal with as best we can. Having lost my Mother when I was young @ 29. My heart goes out to all of you. You can use the IRS' Where's My Refund? Its been crazy. There are no words to describe the pain! The pain of losing you is immeasurable. The one thing I asked my counselor was why, why would I do that? Ann! Mom was it. Ive read so many sad comments, but also so many lovely ones. When I left there somethnig came over me and I knew what happened there was WAY bigger than anything I could have imagined.
