Are you going to marry me? Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? Reply. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. At minding my own business? 54. Funny as phuck. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. This one kills me! By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Dont wake me up yet. Are you flirting with me right now? 35 Auto Reply Text Message Ideas: Funny, Professional, Effective Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. Whats with all these questions? I like being single. 10 Perfect, Sarcastic Responses To Annoying Humblebrags When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. 100+ Funny Things to Ask Alexa (with its Hilarious Responses) - ITTVIS Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. Don Draper? This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. Is your family tree a cactus? A real low-life. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. Elon Musk targets Sen. Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. 5. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. How impressive! He will be missed. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. It's Okay. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. - Anonymous. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Totally fine! 65. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. . Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Are you serious? If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. Boom. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. I dont think youre stupid. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. I was actually talking to my friend". 81. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Moving in with Roommates? Mentally? 2. Comeback for "oh you still alive".. : Comebacks - reddit 16. I learned my lesson. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. Image: wikimedia commons 6. However, I dont recall anything about morons. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. I'm loved! Still, the ghosters ghost on. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. Physically? Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. What could go wrong? Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. 10. 98. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. You look tired. Finnish with this conversation! Canva. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. What's your sign? Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. 1. 99. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Best 45 seconds of my life. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. We cant always get what we want now, can we? Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. The following two tabs change content below. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. Have you met food? Now you can be! Life is up to something. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. Dont let your mind wander. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. 2. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Unlikely, but worth a shot. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. 70. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. 30. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. Best "How Are You?" Answers. (Explained). Not so much. Being single is much better than being married. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Whats a funny way to respond to the question 'Are you still alive?' Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. (Use a sexy tone). Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". If you're brain-dead, you're dead. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. "See, I will finally make you smile.". My grandfather had a ton of these. Nowadays, potential mates need money. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. I was doing great, before you came. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Why some QAnon believers think JFK Jr is still alive - and about to Im sorry I hurt your feelings. 28. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. I have been going through GOT in my work life. This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. Why do you ask? can be tackled in some really interesting ways. I favour the "How am I what?" I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. The answer is simple. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. Im sorry. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Click here for additional information. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Stop asking me why Im single! 12. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." Still Alive synonyms - 44 Words and Phrases for Still Alive I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. Because Im awkward and ugly. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. A little bit worse now that youve asked. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. How do you usually respond to the question? If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. a fate worse than death." Now I have a much lower opinion of you. 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 I cant even afford to feed myself! 9. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. You win the internet. Reply. The music billboard charts got it wrong! I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! Not everybody may appreciate them. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". Hi! I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. . His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. You dont need to say it. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. At least my hair looks amazing. I'm used to it, anyway. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. What do you mean Im still single. You speak as if youre not single yourself! All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Sorry, life. 100 Good Comebacks Best Funny, Witty Comebacks Ever - Parade 12. The government? 8. 27. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Feeling confident? It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? 13. I dont know. 18. I never even listen when you tell me them. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. Socioeconomically? I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . 15. Because they are already taking their time. Yup, I dont share it. Average, I think, that sounds about right. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! This one is funny when you havent said anything. 3.
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